Pooh will fly

Riding a motorcycle around London unblocking toilets has many plus sides. Mostly I avoid traffic congestion and parking problems. The biggest down side of course is that I'm exposed to the weather and in London that means rain.

Luckily the smart engineers at Goretex have helped me to stay dry on my motorcycle during the constant drizzle that all us Londoners love to hate. I am a firm believer in buying quality equipment and therefore spared no expense when selecting the clothing that was meant to keep me dry all day.

Last Wednesday was one of those days. I awoke to the familiar grey scene outside, the clouds had come in overnight and we destined to leak down on us all day. I geared up into my water proof clothing and set off.

All the jobs went smoothly that day and finished all my scheduled jobs by 15:00. I thought I'd pop into the office to hand in some paperwork and payments. As I walked through the office door the Operation's Manager grabbed my attention.

"Do you want another job?" he asked,

"That depends on what it is" I replied.

"Blocked toilet in SW8"

"No problem, send it through to my phone"

Just as quickly as I had arrived I was out of the door. Heading to Stockwell to clear a blocked toilet.

I arrived the address, a typical London council estate. I knocked on the flat door and the tenant answered.

"It's in there, I'll leave you to deal with it"

I opened the door to what was obviously intended to be a guest loo. The customer had attempted, as admittedly most do, to unblock the toilet herself with drain unblocker. It was obvious from the pungent smell of chemicals that she had poured the whole bottle down the toilet in hope that it would dissolve the blockage. It hadn't.

All the chemicals had done was to dissolve the loo roll and turn the trapped water into a brown sludge. Not a pretty site.

I decided to use a plunger to clear the blockage. I slipped on my rubber gloves and sunk the plunger into the sludge. As I drove down on the plunger in an attempt to clear the blockage and in the process created a fountain of pooh as the downward pressure on the plunger forced the foul water to splash out of the bowl.

It went everywhere! All over the toilet seat, behind the toilet, down the walls and worst of all; all over my expensive Goretex waterproof trousers, shoes and socks.

Luckily the plunger had cleared the blockage, but I spent the next 45 minutes cleaning up the mess I had made. The customer must have been very impressed with the service, not only did I unblock her toilet but I cleaned her toilet from top to bottom.

I spent the rest of the evening cleaning my waterproof clothing. I now know to plunge with care or the pooh will fly.